Emails received during the first week since the fire

Oct 29-31st 2007
(some personal information has been removed including last names for privacy purposes.)
I don’t know how clear all of these are to an outsider. Nevertheless, whether or not one can follow the speaker, all of these thoughts and words come from peoples’ hearts and therefore ultimately God’s. So read to see how speak through us and to us.

From Barbara on the 10/29:
Maria, I know that you are having some bad feelings right now. You must be physically and mentally exhausted. Please call me as soon as you can.
Some people have stepped up besides Carole and have offered their help.
Shelly the girl that you helped the other night said that she has an extra bedroom with a bed in it. Shannon said she has crates, collars, and leashes that you can use and would take one of your dogs if you wish. Judy and Liz has sent out email to let everyone that I haven't contacted to send $$$ to assist you with some of your vet bills if they choose.
I just can’t imagine what you are going though right now and hope that I never know. I don't wish you situation on even those that I don't care for. I know that there isn't much that I can personally do right now, but if you can think of something that I can do please let me know. You are always there for the animals, others, and me and now it’s your time to ask.
Please don't try to take care of everything by yourself and let others help you with what they can.
Thinking of you. You and the animals are in my thoughts and prayers.

Barbara

10/29 8:59, Mickaboo discussion group:
I am just heartbroken. Please tell us if we can help in any way. In the meantime, I believe in prayer and I will be praying for her.
Laurie W.

10/30 Rescue for Parrots discussion group:
I write this e-mail with the hope that you will read it with kindness. Take from it what you will, and don't judge the rest harshly. When I started working full-time for the humane society 15 years ago, I could not deal with animals' deaths at all. I would not even go into the area where the animals were being euphonized, and I would go home and cry all evening. Finally, my dear father who has since passed away told me that I had to find some way of coping with all the sadness or I would have to find another job. So, I started looking for ways to cope. Keep in mind that I have now been associated with about 80,000 animals, and have seen 85% of them die.
My church teaches us that animals have eternal spirits that will be resurrected with us, and we will truly have our beloved companions again. That belief, of course, helps me tremendously.
Life really is such a short time, and we came to earth with the foreknowledge that death would come to each one of us.
I believe, through my experiences at the shelter, that animals do not think of death the way we do. How many of you have said about an aging or sick pet, "He just seemed to tell me it was time for him to go" or "It was as if my cat was asking me to let her go?"
Two weeks ago, we adopted the three turtles we had received. The adopter is a wonderful person who has a Humane Society of the United States certified backyard habitat. When she came to the shelter to pick up the turtles, she fell in love with a little kitten. I knew the kitten would have such a wonderful, wonderful life. But, the adopter called yesterday with the sad news that her little grandson had stumbled and had fallen on the kitten. The kitten is still clinging to life, but the head injury probably will result in
death very soon. Some people would ask why that had to happen since the kitten had had such a sad life and now had a chance at happiness.
The fact remains that God sees the "big picture" of our lives, and death is not the end. It is merely moving to another place that we mortals, for now, don't have the ability to see.
I take comfort every day in knowing that, even though a large percentage of the animals at the shelter will be euphonized, we have given them love, security, and comfort during the time they are here. And, when they die, they will go to a much better place where all of their pain, problems, and troubles are over.
Maria, your grief must be overwhelming right now. I can't even imagine the burden you feel. At some time in the future, you will be able to think of the merciful parts that are intertwined in the tragedy --you provided a wonderful earthly home for choice creatures, their deaths were painless because they just went to sleep, and you will see them again.
In the meantime, please know that the Rescues for Parrots group stands with you and we will do whatever we can for you. Your animals still live -- for now, you are separated from them, but they still live. Spirits never die; earthly bodies do, but never the spirits that inhabit them.
Paulette

I wrote:
Thank you so much. All anyone can do for now is pray. I am still in shock. I can't stop crying. It’s going to take a long while to get over this. Moreover, God had better have good reasons, too because this doesn't make any sense to me. None at all!

Sent: Mon, 29 Oct 2007 10:21 pm
Subject: Re: [Rescuesforparrots] Devastating News –
Maria and her birds

Maria, I am just so heartbroken for you and for the wonderful birds and cats that are playing in the Rainbow Garden. That is the only way I have been able to keep it together since learning of this horrid, horrid fire. I have put off writing all day because I know how upset you are and I don't know how to help you. You must know that God did this for His reasons and we are not to know what that is yet. You have been the best life these animals had in a long time and they all love you as we do. If there is anything, anything at all, that I can do for you, I will. I will come down there and help if I can. You have been such an inspiration to me...to all of us...our love and prayers are with you.
Love and hugs
Renee

Paulette,
That is truly beautiful and comforting to all of us who have lost our loving companions in the past. I just lost the first tortoise that I ever had last year, dear Yoda, and many other turtles, tortoises, skinks, lizards, birds, over the years. They are here according to God's plan on this earth and then they move to the next plateau as do we all.
Maria,
You are in my thoughts and prayers. You have done so many wonderful things for your birds and made such a difference in their lives; what they had then can never be taken away. They knew a home and love before they went to Rainbow Bridge, which is a lot more than many birds ever know in their lifetime.
Susanne

Dear Maria...
My heart goes out to you as well as my prayers. I am in Arizona with my grandson and my kids until Tuesday of next week. I will be happy to come down and do some work around the place for you. I can bring a trailer to help take stuff to the dump... Anything you need. Wish I could do it now, but I'm sure you can use my help next week. Sue Walters and her son will be able to help too, I'm sure. I will get in touch with her and talk with you when I return. God Bless you for all you do. You are such a giving, loving person. Now you will get some of that love back from those whom you have touched with your kindness. Ralph

From prayer email Joannie, seat out:
Maria, I am praying for you today. God is able and will come to you in a very special way to heal your hurting heart and soul. Open your life to Him. He wants only the best for all of us. In God's love and peace. Betty who has just recently lost her soul mate Husband, Ted.

Yesterday, I received this poem from a friend of a friend of a friend. It is very inspiring, written by a woman in the U.K. who, like Maria and many of us, has devoted her life to caring for the unloved and unwanted....
`'My heart is made of feathers'',
The mad parrot woman said.
`'I have feathers in my heart and soul,
Feathers in my head.''
She knew that people laughed at her,
And talked behind her back;
But her love of all things feathered
Would never falter, never slack.
Her world was made of feathers,
Of the birds that she adored.
The smirks of open ridicule
She simply just ignored.
But as the months passed into years,
The laughter, it grew less.
They all began to listen
As she spoke so proud, shameless.
Very few would understand
But they began to realize;
That her devotion to those birds was real,
Acceptance was her prize.
For it meant that people realized
She would never hide away.
For the birds that suffered, the birds that died,
Her voice was here to stay.
Her world was made of feathers,
A place of loneliness, she knew.
But if her human friends walked off;
Her feathered friends stayed true.
Her world was made of feathers!
And with tears, her eyes did glisten
As finally, the world laughed less,
The world began to LISTEN!
`'My heart is made of feathers!''
The people heard her cry.
And to her joy, they didn't laugh….
They stopped, and asked her `'WHY?’’ …

By Anne.

I wrote to prayer line:
You may share. I had two dreams last night although I didn't sleep much. The first was just a scene with a bright light shining down form heaven and all the animal souls were circling up into the light. It was quiet and peaceful and I knew it was a good thing. I also dreamed a strange dream, but the two messages were that human struggle and stumble but we each have a job to try to accomplish. My job is to make things grow. God is with me, this I know. It is also good to know that you are all here too. God bless and thank you.
It is good karma coming back your way for all of the great things that you have done over the years I'm sure.
Kathleen


Also, I'm attaching some pictures of my "kids”. Boomer who is in the first picture is a Mickaboo rescue from last March. He had been found in a tree and was named Crackers, he has about 50% more feathers now than he does did in the picture. Next is my dog Molly the little tri-color corgi playing with my trainers Rhodesian Ridgeback puppy Joy. Finally is one of my favorite pictures of all times and that is Taz and Buster in a tree. Taz is the green one (green check conure) and Buster is the yellow Jenday. Taz my ex husband and I bought about 13 years ago and Buster was a bird that I rescued from what would have been a horrible life either as a classroom bird or she would have been passed along from person to person I'm sure because she had a lot of issues. Anyways I had to put Buster down last year just past Thanksgiving because of a heart murmur but good things came out of my loss. After her I decided to get Molly who as a fellow dog owner you know having a puppy around is sheer joy at least when they are asleep and the 10% of the time she is being good. Also, as a result of the loss of Buster I decided to get a new buddy for Taz who turned out to be Boomer and that got me involved with Mickaboo. My final addition was Pearl who I was asked by Sue if I could go to the SJ Shelter, pick her up, and drive her to Dr. Ferguson's house. I did and it was a good thing because otherwise she would not have lived through the night. I ended up fostering Pearl and after my mom met her, she told me that I had to adopt her, which I did because you have to do what your mom tells you to do. :-)
My point if there is one besides to share with you my "family" is to say that good things come out of sad events in our life. If it wasn't for Buster's passing, I would still have her but I wouldn't have Molly, Boomer, and Pearl. This plus I had the joy of Buster enriching my life for about 9 years, so I'm sure good things will come.
Kathleen

Tuesday, October 30, 2007
OMG...
Jenny writes in her blog:
What is this? Is this week not my week or is it because I am thinking too hard? I don't know if it just me, but every single year during Halloween week something bad happens to me, my family, or people that I know around me. It's really weird.
This week what happened so far, my mentor's house was burned down yesterday and most of her pets died. At least her pets that passed did not suffer because they were not burned, but instead died from smoke inhalation aka carbon monoxide poisoning which is like basically anesthesia that knocks you out. The only pets that survived were 4 dogs. They were extremely lucky and they are currently housed at my workplace- the vet hospital. For more information read the following article: http://www.recordnet.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071030/A_NEWS/710300329 . My heart extends to her as she is my mentor and plus I really got emotional after I learned of this because I seen some of her pets every since they were tiny. Also, for her to go through this tragedy is really emotional due through her daily struggles and obstacles she has to go through. She was born and raised in a dysfunctional family, and then she was sent to a foster home at 17, and was kicked out of the foster care system at 18. What really amazes me about my mentor was that she was able to be accepted at HARVARD and graduated. But what is really weird is that no matter how busy she is, she is a lover of pets. She goes out of her own way and volunteer on the weekends at local animal shelters. I am very thankful to have such a mentor. And at this time of need, it is my turn to console her.
Secondly: http://www.recordnet.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071030/A_NEWS/71030057 This is like the first time I felt an earthquake in Stockton! But, I think it is the aftershock from the main one in the Bay Area like in San Jose/ Milipitas/ etc. I hope my friends are okay down there because I heard it was like a 5.6 magnitude earthquake. It was really weird because I was in a Viet. restaurant and like the floors started to move and the lights and the table started to move around, I was going like WTF WTF is it a earthquake? ><
And like OMG, I have 4 midterms this week, 1 midterm next week, 3 papers due next week!!! It's like what is all this crap? Today, I got done with two midterms- biology and organic chemistry. I think my biology wasn't that bad but I know I failed the organic test! I have a midterm tomorrow in religion, and I have to take my Political science midterm by Sunday midnight, as it is an online class. Next week, I have a computer sci test- shouldn't be that bad and 3 papers (English, biology, religion) due. UGH! So much work and studying! Lack of sleep and caffeine! Ugh. I know I complain too much but this is a blog so bleh. In addition, I still need to do college apps. So much to do! It’s like I'm preparing for adult life even though I'm only 16- I'm juggling a million things: school, clubs, family, work, chores.

Maria, I am so, so sorry. Please know that you and your flock are in my prayers. Seeing so much abuse and neglect as we all do with these guys, please know that in the end they were much loved and spoiled which they all deserve and which we all know very few have the privilege to experience and you did this for them. My heart is with you all. Pam
Pamela
Foster Parrots Lost and Found Coordinator

Maria, I am very saddened to hear of your tremendous loss and just wanted to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. If there is ANYTHING that you need, please do not hesitate to contact me. You are
Very well known and respected in the avian rescue/welfare community and I are sure that the group at MT's would band together also to help you in this time of sadness and need. Please...if there anything I can do let me know. (((Maria)))

The Central Virginia Parrot Sanctuary
Janet
Director, Behavior Management
~~~ Only if we understand can we care. Only if we care will we help. Only if we help shall they be saved. Jane Goodall ~~~

Hi Maria! I wanted to personally express my deepest sympathy over the loss of your animal friends. The circumstances are horrific and to lose so many at the same time is beyond comprehension. All of us in Mickaboo are sick at heart and many are finding ways to reach out. My daughter wants to help collect some household items for you too and has put something on her MySpace site. Please know we all want to help however, we can - just ask. We are thinking about you and pray that you don't lose your giving spirit. When you are ready, there are many more little lives waiting for your kindness.
Claudia
Macaw Adoption Coordinator, Mickaboo

Nov 1-5th

It's good to hear from you Maria and thanks for writing back. I mentioned on MT's that Target offers e-gift cards which are sent almost instantaneously and Kim was going to check for us to make sure you have access to a printer but I see this morning she hasn't. Do you, and is this the preferred email address for you?
I am glad that there is a good support network for you - reminds me what the Wizard of Oz told the scarecrow - "A heart is not judged by how much it loves, but how much it is loved by others". My continued thoughts and prayers are with, as I know many, many others are. Let me know about the availability of a printer to get e-gift certificates to you and what addy you would like them sent My goodness - way too early in the morning for me - that quote is what the Wizard told the Tin Man - the scarecrow didn't have a brain

EchosMom here

I wrote:
Mickaboo and local friends and dog/cat rescue people here are getting stuff together for me. My principal came and got many of my unburned clothes and everybody at work took bags home to wash for me. I am almost as overwhelmed by the support as I am by the loss. The support is that great. I am looking for a new place to live, as it will take several months to a year to fix my home. I need every basic necessity gift cards welcome. Of course, prayers are especially appreciated. Alternatively, maybe like wishful, Anne, I will just have to adopt a bird to keep from being one into my hotel room. Send needed faces my way. lol. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

From: Rebecca
you have been through a lot in your life Maria, far more than I can ever know. you are such an inspiring person because you haven't allowed those things to defeat you. you have great character and you have made yourself vulnerable to others by sharing your story. I have been through my own difficult times and have been amazed at where beauty rises up from the ashes. I believe you know what I am talking about here. Kim said you have a great support system there, which is so key in life and will certainly carry you. you are deeply on my heart and in my prayers.
love,
Rebecca

I wrote:

thank you. While I have suffered great loss, I have gained knowledge that I am so loved and cared for. I just can't say thank you enough to everyone.

From: Rebecca
Sent: Thu, 1 Nov 2007 2:08 pm
Subject: dearest Maria
Maria,
I just heard the news moments ago. you are special. you are loved. you are fully on my heart and in my prayers. I am shattered for you and simply at a loss for words. please reach out for help and support with my deepest concern,
Rebecca

No need to feel you must respond to this email. You are in our daily thoughts and prayers. Linda wrote, "I hope Maria is coping. Her losses, and pain, are with me throughout the day. How does one even begin to heal from such a loss?" We cannot know the depth of your loss and grief is always lonely, but our
hearts are with you.
Love, Randi

I am so sorry to hear of this tragedy Maria -
Listening to you, I could barely breathe! I can hardly imagine how much pain you are suffering. So many little angels have been lost to this world. I wish you peach and love! It is so hard to imagine that Marvin is gone!
I am so sorry this nightmare has happened. At least now, you will have his memories, as we do - Here is a little picture of Marvin to help you through this horrific experience. Hold on tight to your love, remember each precious little life you had and still have! I am grateful that Marvin had such a good life with you!
Love to you
Auntie Heather
The Rabbit Havens

Lint and Dust Fires

In the past 10 days, 2 people that are very dear to me have had house/structure fires that were caused by lint and dust.
Last week a neighbor’s barn caught on fire killing 2 of her dogs, several chickens and causing severe burns to a pair of blue and gold macaws in a nearby flight habitat. The cause of the fire was a spark from the barn kept refrigerator as it kicked in. The coils and underside were dusty and the spark ignited the dust, which in turn ignited the barn. Thankfully, Robbie was home and was able to get help.

Maria Couragee was not so lucky. Maria's fire was caused by lint build up from the dryer. Even though her lint trap was kept clean, lint build up in the dryer duct as well as in and around the tumbler had apparently smoldered through the night. 20 minutes after Maria left for work the fire department was called to her home. Of the 29 rescued birds, dogs, and cats that Maria was fostering, only 4 dogs survived the fire. Not only has Maria lost the precious companions she cared forever so gallantly, she also lost her home and possessions. Every animal Maria took in came from SEVERE abusive and neglectful homes. Her only solace at this time is knowing that she showed them a life free from abuse before they passed on.


Please take the time to call in a professional to clean out your dryer and replace the vent tube. Pull out the shop vac and the refrigerator and clean all the dust builds up from beneath and behind it. For the sake of your pets, your family, your possessions and your life. This is a valuable lesson we all need to learn from here. And say a prayer for Maria and Robbie as they struggle to rebuild their lives. Donations can be made to either party. Please email for contact information.
Please forward this to everyone you know. You may save a life!

Wendy
Executive Director

Prevent a fire clean your dryer
Dryer lint goes places, many places. It goes and gets stuck to the outside of the drum inside the dryer box/outside frame. It sticks to the inside of the vent tube; it sticks everywhere and to everything inside the dryer. Therefore, Susie homemaker is carefully cleaning her lint catch and making sure she never leaves the house while the dryer runs, she still may have a dry explosion waiting to happen. Every year or two years, a service person is suppose to come to your house, remove your dryer box/casing/frame and vacuum out every little nooks and crannies of the thing. In addition, it is a good idea to clean or replace the vent tube as it too is slowly filling with lint. Did they teach this in school because I missed it?
One possible cause of the fire and why they think it: Lint can smolder for a long time. the fact that I had done lots of laundry the night before and the fire occurs nearly 12 hours later surprised none of the experts. That's what lint does. The wetter, the long to smolder. Wiring can go bad, rub up against each other, and spark. If lint is built up everywhere inside the dryer then bad things can happen. If your dryer is gas, even worse things can happen.
In the loving memory of 28 animals, please pick up the phone now and call the sears repair or other certified professional appliance maintenance person and demand they come to your house at their earliest connivance with a shop vac. Pay any price they demand and make sure you watch so you can learn how to do it. Demand to inspect their work.

Do it today.
Also ask them to vacuum around you refrigerator's compressor.
TODAY!

I've heard about your loss and my heart goes out to you. Bill and I will be checking our dryer vents. Also, just a thought: I've lost birds in the past and it's my heartfelt hope and belief that when I die, in heaven I'll be met by a flock of all the birds I've ever loved flying out to meet me and welcome me. When your time comes, you're going to have a real big flock around you!
God bless and remember that all the pets that have loved you, still do.
Elisabeth

Dearest Maria, it doesn’t matter HOW long it takes, just do things in your own time, bit by bit. There is no rush. I am here for when you feel you want to begin. I emailed Kim earlier with a couple of musical suggestions for the background score, I haven’t put the links in this email as I think it may be too soon for you, but Kim has them ready if you want to listen.
Yes Maria, I know that feeling so well of wanting to rush straight into a pet store and buy out every bird there. When I had to let all mine go to their new homes (There were 28 beautiful birds living in my sanctuary at that time, all permanents) I was desolate when my home became birdless. It’s going to be a long healing process for you I know. If you possibly can, believe in the fact that one day, you WILL have a home of your own again, your own bed, your own belongings. Then think beyond even that, as I truly do believe that it will only be a very short matter of time before the first bundle of feathers seeks you out, and begins healing YOU, as you begin healing IT. It will happen.
I will be here as a sounding board for you whenever you need me, vent, cry, and yell as much as you need, I'll never turn away and nether will your wonderful friend Kim.
I have a very personal question to ask you, I hope you do not mind... If you were going to treat yourself to a lovely new nightdress or pajamas (whichever you prefer) what size would you buy? I ask only because I want to send you a parcel, something that is special only to you, which is why I need to ask. I have an idea in mind that I think you will actually enjoy! I have a few little goodies lined up, but it’s not complete without this last bit of info
Please don’t forget to take care of yourself, and don’t try to be too strong. Allow yourself to release all those awful, heart-crushing emotions as and when you need. I’m only ever a message away,
Night and God bless,
Anne xxx


Thank you for the links Kim! I have sat and wept whilst looking at those pictures of Maria’s beautiful friends, I will never understand why tragedies like this happen, not ever. I sent an email to Maria just before, I found her addy in the post on mytoos. I will take everything on board that you and Maria say about the video, and re-arrange it as many times as needed so that the result is perfect. I will send it to you each time to have a look at, see what you want changing, re-do it and then let you take another look, until it is RIGHT! I have a couple of musical scores in mind, if I can work out how, I will link them in this email, and also let Maria have a listen to see what you and her think. I will simply put together what Maria and you want in the best format I possibly can.
Lots of love,
Anne xoxoxox

I was just thinking about how my dear friend April has really learned to be thankful for her life and little girls in a deeper way because of my own circumstances. I know that both you and I know how to live in gratitude and maybe the reason things still happen to us is so others can learn to be thankful for what they have. I know what has happened to you has shaken many people and I’m sure it causes them to re-evaluate themselves. maybe they need more patience when their birds are going crazy, or maybe they take their house for granted and all they focus on are the things they wish were different about it. I can't say that I like suffering so others can learn through me but I am so happy to know that they do. it really means a lot to me when my friends say that they value their health in a way they never did before watching me. it's not a consolation for days and days stuck at home but it encourages me and gives me a deeper ability to bear it. I hope that knowledge will comfort you though I know it doesn't take away how hideously unfair it has been.
thinking of you,
Rebecca

Dear Maria,
My name is Anna - I'm known on the board as meegsmom...I wanted to send you an email directly to express my condolences on the loss you have suffered. I don't know that I can say anything that will help or ease your pain - but I wanted to let you know that there are many people thinking of you and keeping you in their prayers...I have met alot of people over the years on the internet and those with birds are by far those most genuine and caring group of people I have ever met..
I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers...you are a strong woman and I believe you will get through this in time - and one day - maybe you will feel ready to open your heart/home for more special birds to share and nurture and love. I am not a deeply religious person, but I have been through some horrible things in my life as well and often wondered why god saw fit to make these things happen - my mom always told me.”. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and god will never give you more than you can handle. there is a reason for everything. it’s in your book of life and when one chapter ends, another one begins”. I have stopped questioning things and try to accept whatever is thrown at me. it doesn't make it any easier, but it keeps wondering at times - what is coming next...
I believe your work with animals is far from over - and when you least expect it - one of those darling angels up there of yours will direct a special animal right to your door...
If there’s ever anything, I can do or anything you need - please don't ever hesitate to ask. I realize I'm not a close friend and we hardly know each other - but your pain is shared...
In kindness and healing thoughts...hugz
Anna

FW: Marvin page is up
Heather to you - Nov 4 2007


In memory of Marvin
April, 2007 to October, 29 2007
Beloved Rabbit of Maria Couragee
Left this earth due to a house fire on October 29, 2007
He was such a loving boy. Marvin was a pleasure to be near.
His intense blue eyes looked deep into your heart
His soft fur and gentle ways captivated everyone.
He loved to play and was oh so affectionate.
He won the heart of Maria who adopted him and he happily joined her family.

He won over all the cats and birds that lived at his new home.
He was amazing and so happy! He finally found his own family.
He learned to love his new home, especially hanging out with mom or the cats.

Sweet boy who once played and adventured.
Bunny boy who loved and was loved right back.

Now you have a special place to be in the land of Rainbows.
There, you will forever have all you want and need.
Of course, You will have all our love forever.

Visit us sweet little one - come often please.
Give your mom a nudge, she needs to feel you.
When you feel joy, a binkie would be good.
Be happy in your new place.
We love you.

Remember, little man, you are right here in our hearts.
We will never forget you.
Thank you for being on earth with us - even if it was for such a short time.

Love to you and your mom, Maria.
Auntie Heather and Your Family at The Rabbit Haven


SkippysMom from SCB
Liz to you - Nov 5 2007
Dearest Maria,
I am not good with words at times like this, I feel so much sadness and pain for you but the words just don't seem to convey how deeply sorry I am.
There is so much I would like to be able to say. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. I also remember the day my sister, brother, and I were taken from an abusive home as children.
I keep those memories in my mind each time I rescue an animal, and I use those memories to empathize with the animals, knowing that they feel the same fear and uncertainty about their future that I did way back then.
I have been sitting here for a half hour not typing a single word because it's just so hard to know what to say. Nothing I come up with seems right, so I won't say anything else other than my heart is broken, I cannot stop crying for you, and your loved ones affected by this. Please let me know if I can help in any way.
With much love and sorrow,
Liz (SkippysMom)

Re: [Rescuesforparrots] update on myself
Barb to Rescuesforparrots - Nov 5 2007
Please know that we all care about you and are here for you, I can't imagine what you are going through, But I do see you are a very strong person, and this will not keep you down, I see you coming back stronger then ever, and once you are back on your feet and have your home back, I know you will again open your doors and heart to the ones in need.
You are a very special person, who touches all the animals’ lives who come to you. I know there is know rhyme or reason why this happened right now, but as we know many things happen for reasons. Keep your chin up and your head held high, Many prayers your way !

Re: [Mickaboo Discuss] update on myself
Karen to you - Nov 5 2007
Hi Maria,
I don't know you except from the Mickaboo list... I want you to know that I really enjoy your email updates. I know you are updating us on the aftermath of a terrible event, but each time you remind me what is truly important, and how quickly it can all be gone. I often wish you lived and worked here in Vegas. I would gladly and quickly have you come stay in my guest room and use everything in my house that you needed. Please know that even though I don't know you, I feel close to you because of your communication through Mickaboo... even before the event, I always noticed your posts and knew you were a special individual.
Know that your loved ones are safe and watching over you now. They are with you more than you can know; even in those evenings when you miss them... they are there. And... I am there in spirit, offering my help, support, and positive energy, everything I can to be with you from afar. Oh, and if you REALLY miss the 'Too screams, I can send you a couple! :-)
Much love and hugs,
Karen


Re: SkippysMom from SCB
Liz to you - Nov 5 2007
I wish so much I could be there to comfort you. I am sitting here with chills going up and down my spine and knowing so strongly that you will heal. You won't ever forget those precious souls that perished in the fire, but you will come to terms with it and create something from that pain that will benefit others in some way.
I am no stranger to pain in connection to animals, and although I cannot say I know exactly what you are going through, I can say that I know it is immensely sad and painful. I have had to bear the pain of losing one animal at a time; your pain is many times that. Please just stay strong and share this burden with others.
please please call me if you need to hear a voice. I wouldn't give you my phone number if my concern and caring for you were not sincere. You have friends and people that love you. I am here and will help in any way I can.
I am not going to tell you not to be sad, how could you not be sad? What I am asking you to do is not blame yourself. What happened was not your fault.
Love and hugs,
Liz

Sent: Monday, November 05, 2007 7:24 PM
Subject: Re: SkippysMom from SCB
There was a loud explosion when the gas line blew. I fear they may have been still alive and became very scared. From 7:50 when I left the house until the explosion and the fire department, being called at 8:15 was very little time. I live close to the fire station and they were probably on site quickly. It all happened so fast. I worried that they felt scared and alone. I am so sorry I wasn't there to rescue them. to comfort them. I would never have left them alone. Never. I would never have done anything to hurt them. I love them all so much. I think I felt them twice this week. I wish for more. I wish I could pet them, tickle them, and blow on them. I wish I had collected more of their feathers. I wish we had more time. I just can't cope with the fact that it is over, at least the physical part. I just can't.
Okay, I just needed to say that, mostly to them, but to you too. I am so sad. Just so sad.

From: Liz
Sent: Mon, 5 Nov 2007 2:36 pm
Subject: Re: SkippysMom from SCB
This would be so much easier if I were there, rather than clear across the country in Pennsylvania. I think the thing that makes it hard to know what to say is the worry of upsetting you more if I accidentally say something wrong.
I really just cannot get this off my mind. I keep getting hit with these waves of emotion, thinking about just how horrific this situation is. My Greenwing has been singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" today (well, trying to sing it) and I cracked open an English Walnut and gave the nutmeat to my cockatiel and he whistled a little tune to me and said, "Thank you" as I was walking away. Those moments are hitting me hard because I am sure you have memories of your babies doing special things like that, and I hope you will reach out to all of us at SCB and any other friends you have when those memories hit.
One of our rescued tiels, Lil'bird, passed away last January. She had a horrible life before we got her and we made sure her life with us was peaceful. I don't usually tell people this, but after she passed away, I was clearing out her cage to take it up into the attic and saw this little blue ball of light hover there for a split second and just zip away. Every now and then, when I am thinking about her, I see that blue light flash near me. I feel that she is happy now and free from the emotional and physical pain she knew here on earth. She was a breeder bird and was very worn out when we rescued her.
I have had many rescued animals, dogs, cats, and birds that have since passed on. One dog in particular, a Great Dane, stays around me. I can feel him laying his head on my right thigh like he always did when he was alive. Sometimes I feel a cat I used to have curled up behind my knees when I am laying in bed, the way she always did when she was alive. My husband tells me sometimes he feels her there too, curled up against his neck.
I won't pretend to understand what happens once we leave our physical bodies, but I sincerely believe it is not over at that point. I strongly feel our energy continues to exist and that this is true for animals as well.
You will probably think I am crazy, but it might help to talk to all of your babies as if they were there in a physical body and explain to them what happened that day. Explain that you would not have left them if you had known something so horrible was about to happen. I can just imagine it all happening so fast, they probably did not know what was going on. It will help them to have it all explained.
I hope I am not upsetting you, I would want to shoot myself if I did something that made this all worse for you, but I can't stop thinking about this. I just feel like they are confused about what happened and it will help if you explain it all to them.
Please stay in touch with me; I will be praying and worrying.
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
Liz

Sent: Monday, November 05, 2007 10:58 AM
Subject: Re: SkippysMom from SCB
Thank you so much. knowing that people are there for me. Praying, giving, thinking, and reaching out are so much help. If know one was there I think I would really kill myself. So keep talking to me. I know the right words aren't there. I can see this is tragic for everyone. I need people right now. I need to be able to email and or call folks. This is so hard and I imagine it will be for a long time. so stay close. that is what I need.

From: Liz
Sent: Mon, 5 Nov 2007 6:33 am
Subject: SkippysMom from SCB
Dearest Maria,
I am not good with words at times like this, I feel so much sadness and pain for you but the words just don't seem to convey how deeply sorry I am.
There is so much I would like to be able to say. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. I also remember the day my sister, brother, and I were taken from an abusive home as children.
I keep those memories in my mind each time I rescue an animal, and I use those memories to empathize with the animals, knowing that they feel the same fear and uncertainty about their future that I did back then.
I have been sitting here for a half hour not typing a single word because it's just so hard to know what to say. Nothing I come up with seems right, so I won't say anything else other than my heart is broken, I cannot stop crying for you, and your loved ones affected by this. Please let me know if I can help in any way. With much love and sorrow,
Liz (SkippysMom)

I'm sorry
j krofcheck to you - Nov 5 2007
Hi Maria,
I am so sad to find out what happened, and also very moved and thankful to see how there are caring people around you, near and far. I don't even know if Prince or Samantha were still with you after this many years, but I wish this had not happened to you. You can call me for anything you need that I can give:

John
aka Sensi
aka HeartBoy